


Moondust

by Cee693



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, Discrimination, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Post-War, Violence, totalitarianism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-02 10:18:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10215704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cee693/pseuds/Cee693
Summary: In a dystopian future, Barry and Iris West-Allen try to survive and protect their family in a world in which metahumans are criminalized and caged, trust is scarce, and revolution looms around the corner.





	1. How it Began..

**Author's Note:**

> New AU I've really wanted to try. I'm planning on turning out more chapters than I've done before because every time I see the word count of Wilted Halcyon I genuinely feel so bad. That was way too much for only three chapters.  
> So this will be anywhere between 5 to 12 chapters, depending on the rhythm I find.
> 
> Also, I could never even begin to describe how much everyone's kind words and prayers meant to me two months ago!! Thank you to everyone who said a kind word or thought a kind thought, cause I definitely felt it. Things are better now Thank God, but it's still a very long road ahead.
> 
> **Last thing- 3x15 left me emotionally compromised and I haven't known what to do with myself since. That is all.**

Most people couldn’t fathom a world in which metahumans roamed free.

They read about it in textbooks at school, of course.

Usually learned about it in cautionary or spooky tales told by parents and friends before even entering primary school.

But, those stories on paper or otherwise, always seemed surreal, out of reach.

They _were_ true, though.

There was a time, before the Great War, when metahumans were free to roam the streets unimpeded.

They were free to run around, to go to school and work.

To raise families and contribute to science and literature and the arts for years.

No one could have predicted that total devastation was lurking right beneath the surface.

But, to those looking back in hindsight, how metahumans came to be in the first place would become a huge red flag for what they were capable of doing later on.

About 100 years ago, at the dawn of a scientific revolution, a young physicist promised an invention that would revolutionize everything that the world knew about our world and the planets around us.

He'd created a satellite that could supposedly bridge communication to another world.

Not, just one world either.

An entire multiverse.

The invention was met with eager donations and a captivated populace.

But, the night of the launch, the device failed on a catastrophic level.

And the scientist who had promised citizens new horizons to explore and wonders beyond imagination had instead brought destruction and chaos.

He was in the control center in the capital when something went horribly wrong. The satellite exploded and everyone in the control center, including the scientist, the president, and every domestic and foreign dignitary in attendance all perished.

There was no explanation for what went wrong.

There was just an earthquake that spanned across America, a blinding white light and then darkness.

But, it wasn't any form of darkness the world had ever seen.

The dark matter from the great explosion saturated the sky overhead and submerged the country in a choking blackness for exactly ten months.

No one knew why this happened or why the sun seemed to disappear from the Western hemisphere for almost a year, but the citizens who survived the explosion were able to band together and carry on in the darkness.

And when light returned to the country suddenly one morning, people also awoke with strange abilities.

With powers.

Suddenly, people could do the impossible.

They were ordinary people who just woke up one morning with extraordinary abilities.

They were young and old. Men and women.

And they fascinated their fellow citizens.

Some could catch on fire without burning up. Some could perform tricks in the sky with the elements of wind and rain.

Some could read minds and heal the sick and bend time with a thought.

Of course, some used they powers for evil and crime, but no more than regular people.

They were extraordinary, but they weren’t all intimidating or dangerous.

Life between these metahumans and the rest of the population wasn’t utopian by any means, but it was peaceful. It was fair.

And then the war came.

Two metahumans-Aquaman and Wonder Woman as they liked to call themselves- found themselves in a colossal feud, the origins of which were lost in history.

But, the results wreaked havoc across the earth; from Japan, through Europe, and all the way to California.

The fighting was so extensive, the damage was so great, that the entirety of the Eastern Hemisphere was either leveled to rubble or plunged underwater within months.

With neither one of them gaining an advantage over the other, they each called on friends and like-minded individuals to take sides.

Metahumans joined the fight.

Not many, but enough to hinder any human efforts to stop the war easily.

However, by the time the two sides found their way to the Americas and irreversibly damaged the vast majority of the mainland, their numbers had dwindled enough from their own casualties for a surviving human military faction to overpower them and end the war.

Aquaman and Wonder Woman were publically executed for all they'd done and their metahuman soldiers stood trial.

Their top ranking officers were also executed and the rest were put in maximum security prisons that were created to house them safely.

The plan was to hold the prisoners until a clear procedure of trial and punishment could be established, but almost immediately, the drought and subsequent hunger and disease that washed over the country as a result of the war quickly took priority.

Tens of millions of American citizens died either from famine or disease created from both metahuman biological warfare and from common, but communicable illnesses that ravaged the war-torn country.

It took months and claimed countless lives, but eventually the disease found its way out of the general population.

By the time survivors emerged strong enough to rebuild and piece together what little they could, the original military faction that captured the metahuman soldiers had dismantled and given way for a new faction to rise.

This group started small, but quickly grew its branches into the efforts for rebuilding infrastructure stability, economic growth, and fair law-making.

And their message was clear.

Every single thing that had gone wrong in their country-in the world-was totally the fault of metahumans existing.

They argued that even before the war, metahumans took everything they could from regular, law-abiding citizens and were responsible for the dwindling economy in many cities.

The faction, The Department of Metahuman Uprising Prevention And Resistance Force or simply the RF, promised prosperity and a new world order; if only they could find a way to save humans from their metahuman predators.

They argued that it didn't matter if every metahuman was an active threat or not. Due to the mutations in their DNA, metahumans were violent and savage by nature and it was only a matter of time before they would hurt someone, even their friends and family.

So the RF proposed that the prison cells originally built to hold metahuman war criminals be broken down, expanded, and used to hold _all_ metahumans.

They proposed, and their followers agreed, that metas-with their bloodlust and violence and destruction-shouldn't be allowed to live among regular, upstanding citizens.

And so every metahuman in every city, whether they were young or old, male or female, was rounded up, documented and forced into the redesigned prison fortresses.

The gated land was isolated away from the human public. The land was expansive enough to accommodate the ever rising metahuman population, but the living quarters provided minimum necessities and comfort.

Families were assigned to bungalow-type dwellings.

The RF just called them encampments, but the encampment in Central City, the new Capital, became known ironically as “Iron Heights Meadows.”

Of course, governmental upkeep of the living conditions within the meta compounds wasn't necessarily top-priority and as such, poor drinking water, limited electricity and weak infrastructure for anything not directly related to keeping metas confined were all commonplace.

Order was kept by military captains and lieutenants throughout generations to ensure the metas never revolted or became strong enough to try to overpower humans again.

The military was the backbone of everyone’s existence.

They oversaw education, law-making, law-enforcement, healthcare, and commerce.

Due to residual effects from the war and disease, most citizens did live in less-than-ideal housing and economic situations, but they gladly accepted them in exhange for the security and protection the RF created.

Though, military officials and their families did enjoy the luxuries ordinary civilians only dreamed about.

Iris West was born into a military family.

She spent most of her life in a world of comfort and stability that she didn’t take for granted.

Though she was raised in the rigid, sometimes cold shadow of decades-old laws and social structures, Iris was a bit of an anomaly in the community.

She always stuck out, even as a child; choosing to wear extremely bright colors, using her small frame to wander into dangerous places a child had no business being, and often speaking to anyone and everyone with an off-putting frankness that wasn't too common in their town.

Iris West was always easy to spot out in a crowd, her brightly-colored tops or fuchsia headbands were an odd and isolating sight in seas of army greens and grays and black, but it was her style.

Important dinners with other military families and state meetings between leaders were often interrupted by Iris, in the midst of some grand imaginary adventure, running into rooms or shrieking down hallways.

She wasn't a bad child by any means. 

She didn't go out of her way to be disruptive or disrespectful, anyone could see that, but it didn't make her any less of a nuisance to most.

Eventually Iris did mellow out enough. 

Right around the time she met the intelligent, mild-mannered nephew of the town's apothecary.

Over time, she stopped wearing oddly-colored accessories and she stopped wandering around town, exploring places she had no authorization or permission to explore.

What completely stopped Iris trying to see how many premature gray hairs she could give her father, however, was the devastating accident that took the lives of her mother and her baby brother.

Iris was about eleven years old when the West family home somehow went up in a blaze of fire.

Her mother and little brother were trapped in the flames immediately.

They never had a chance.

Iris was in the fire too, but she miraculously survived after jumping out of her bedroom window.

After that, Iris didn’t smile as much as she used to. She laughed a little less and stayed closer to home.

But, with the guidance of her father, Iris West grew into an amazing young woman-kind and beautiful and intelligent.

Which is why her secret elopement to apothecary’s nephew at 18 caused ripples of shock and scandal throughout the community.

The news surrounding the marriage was quite the buzz for a very long time.

Though the couple was still going strong nine years later with a family of their own, brief glances and quick whispers still seemed to follow them on days when the gossip mill was low.

But, Barry Allen and Iris West took it in stride, making sure they remained pillars of their community, helping their fellow citizens and supporting their government any way they could.

And they made sure everyone knew that they raised their children to be the same way.

So that nothing they did was ever questioned too much or scrutinized too hard.

So that no one ever suspected the incredible secret that Barry and Iris had kept hidden for over 18 years.


	2. A Dinner Among Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Un-beta'd. All grammar mistakes are my own.

Iris walked briskly up the beaten path leading to the front of her house.

The sky looked like rain and she wanted to be indoors as quickly as possible.

More than that, she wanted to wrap her arms around the people she’d been sorely missing since she’d gotten called into work the night before.

Luckily she opened her front door just as the first rumble of thunder rolled across the sky.

"I'm home!" Iris announced, quietly closing the front door so not to alarm anyone.

She knew they were all probably on edge.

They always were when she had to break routine and work outside of her normal hours.

The two young ones would probably be fine if wasn't for their father's nervous energy that they inevitably picked up on during days like this.

Her husband was at the door in an instant, grabbing her bag and hanging up her jacket for her.

"Hi," Barry greeted with a smile. "You're back already?” he asked in what he probably thought was a normal, laid-back tone, but Iris knew better.

She saw his hands nervously twitching at his side.

His usual tell.

Iris smiled back. "Hey, yourself," she chucked off her shoes and pulled Barry close.

"How was your day?"

Barry visibly relaxed and wrapped his arms around her. "Perfectly fine," he assured.

He leaned down and only managed a brush of their noses and a soft peck on her lips before thunderous footsteps barreled overhead.

"Hi mama," echoing voices shouted, running down the stairs.

"Hi, peanuts!" Iris smiled brightly. She moved out of Barry's embrace to meet the two children at the bottom of the stairs

"I missed you both so much," Iris said as she bent down and hugged them as tightly as she could.

Only pulling back at their half-hearted complaints about lack of air.

Iris looked them over quickly.

Minus a tiny dirt smudge here and paint-stained fingers there, they looked well enough.

She didn't doubt Barry for a second, but double-checking was just second nature.

"What have you all been up to?" she asked.

They both started talking at once, tripping over themselves to tell her literally everything they did from start to finish.

Iris held an amused and engaged expression, but she met Barry's teasing eyes over their heads.

“Daddy said a bad word,” Dawn suddenly revealed in her usual matter-of-fact tone. "A _really_ bad word."

Barry's teasing smile dropped and he shook his head at his daughter always finding a way to rat him out no matter what he did.

Iris had to hide her laugh so Dawn wouldn't think she thought cursing was funny.

"Was just trying to fix the sink," Barry said sheepishly. He held up his right hand. It was bandaged, but the skin peeking out was an angry red.

"Sorry, honey," Iris said sympathetically. She assured Dawn her father hadn't meant to say something so bad and ushered the kids further into the house.

"Are you done at work now, mommy?" DJ asked.

"Of course. The machines are all fixed up now. I don't have to go back until Wednesday,” Iris guaranteed.

"We're making you a surprise," Dawn said excitedly. "But, we have to finish it before the rain comes."

She tugged her brother in the direction of the back of the house.

"Don't come outside!" Dawn yelled over her shoulder.

Barry and Iris chuckled at their children's antics.

"How was everything?" Iris asked Barry as they went upstairs to their bedroom.

"Great," Barry said truthfully. "The crying only lasted less than three hours last night and then only one hour this morning."

Iris tsked and gave Barry a sad look.

He sighed. "It's just... better when you're here."

"It's better when all of us are together," Iris said.

Barry smiled and pulled her to his chest. "I missed you," he said.

He moved Iris's hair to the side and kissed his way down her neck. "I don't like it whenever you have to work late. It makes me nervous."

"I know, I know. But, it was out of my control," Iris said a little breathlessly.

He kissed her again.

"I already made them dinner and I told them they could paint the old wagon in the shed and fill it with wildflowers for you," Barry revealed happily. "So we have about an hour to spare before they come bother us again."

Iris was pleasantly surprised.

In most aspects of their lives Barry always erred on the side of caution which included waiting until the dead of night to do anything that might scar two small children who were known to burst into any room without knocking first.

"Even with that hurt hand you are in an exceptional mood, my love," Iris observed, latching on to Barry's happy mood, almost forgetting what she was dreading to tell him.

Barry grinned and shrugged.

He undid the buttons of her shirt.

"Today was a good day. And now that you're home it's even better."

That cleared Iris's cloudy head enough for her to groan in disappointment.

Barry didn't notice. He slid off Iris's shirt and ran his hands through her hair, unraveling her updo.

"We have to go to a fundraiser for Director Mills' Ground One Initiative," Iris blurted out.

Barry halted his hands. "What? No. Why?"

"I tried, Barry. I tried every possible thing I could do to get out of this, but I couldn't. It's just too risky to appear to be anything less than supportive," Iris said.

Barry sighed heavily and closed his eyes.

She started re-buttoning her shirt. The mood had definitely gone.

"Iris," he said sadly. "I can't."

Barry stared at her, hoping she'd offer up anything at all as an alternative.

"You have to," Iris said simply. "We have to. I asked Linda to watch the children. She'll be here at eight."

Barry shook his head then nodded slowly. "Okay," he agreed glumly.

He left the room.

 

Linda Park showed up right on time to look after Dawn and DJ and Barry and Iris made it to the Great Hall just as the wine bottles and expensive appetizers were served.

Barry and Iris shook their heads at the mountains of food all around them.

Food this expensive and lavish never seemed to find its way into markets for families to buy and the platters and platters that would inevitably be left over from tonight would never even be considered to go with the weekly food rations that poorer families received.

Barry and Iris never drank at things like this because it made them even more jittery.

But, they mingled as much as was necessary with Council members and other leaders of the community.

Barry and Iris stood closer by each other's side like they always did in public.

They were always a united front in all things outside of their home, even in places as mundane as the market.

They did finally get pulled apart when Barry was roped into a conversation with the surly lieutenant from his old job who still insisted on treating Barry like an employee.

Iris took a few steps away, not wanting to be a part of whatever the lieutenant thought he could order Barry into doing this time.

She kept a safe distance, but still was still close enough to swoop in and save him if she needed to.

She was so focused on making sure the lieutenant didn't somehow convince Barry to follow him back to headquarters and reorganize the entire Central City forensics database for him (it already happened once), she didn't notice the smirking man slinking up to her until he boldly pressed against her backside under the guise of squeezing between Iris and a waiter who was not in the way at all.

"Ms. West," General Eobard Thawne greeted when Iris rounded on him.

Iris suppressed a very big eye roll.

"General. How are you?" Iris asked politely.

"I admit I was in a sour mood until a moment ago. You look lovely this evening, Ms. West. Positively delectable," he murmured, not even trying to shade his hawkish appraisal of her.

"That husband of yours is smart to keep you under lock and key. All these wandering eyes? I'd keep you all to myself too if I could," he said. Though there wasn't really any humor in his tone.

Iris swallowed her disgust and gave a forced laugh. "I think you're mistaken, General. I have to be outside most of the time otherwise I go stir-crazy. I'm always out and about. You remember when I was a child? Constantly running around interrupting your meetings with silly games?"

She hoped reminding him that he was literally old enough to be her father would draw out a little shame, but he just stepped closer.

"Oh I remember. And look at what a beautiful woman you developed into," He ran a hand down her arm very slowly.

Iris couldn't prevent this eye-roll.

She took half a step back and gently collided with a warm, solid chest.

A firm hand pressed against the small of her back and the familiar scent of her husband flooded her senses.

"General, good evening," Barry greeted slowly. "How are you?"

"Allen, you look good," General Thawne noted unenthusiastically.

"Thank you, sir. I hope you don't mind, but I have to steal my wife for a moment. Director Mills is looking for a Book Keeper," Barry explained, already turning Iris in the direction of the stage.

General Thawne didn't look fooled in the least, but he stepped out of the way nonetheless.

"Yes, of course. Enjoy the rest of your evening," he said curtly, stealing one last look-over of Iris while she walked past him.

As soon as they were a few feet away they dropped their fake smiles.

"That guy fucking sucks," Barry murmured.

"The _worst_ ," Iris agreed, sighing. "I need antibacterial water."

Barry pointed to the expansive bar across the room. "Make it two?" he asked.

Iris quickly kissed his cheek and walked over to the bar to put in her drink order. 

There was a bit of a line at the counter and by the time she was at the front, Director Mills had taken the stage with thunderous applause.

Iris kept only one ear open to his opening introductions before he dove into his speech.

But, when he mentioned something about the breach security breach her attention peaked.

That's what she'd been called in to work on last night.

"Take the security breach at The Gallery last week for example," Director Mills started.

There was a wave of disapproving murmurs and tsks from the audience. 

"If it wasn't for the tactical efforts of our military, three criminal metahumans would have gained access to advanced technology that would prove deadly in their hands," Director Mills boasted.

“Pfffffft,” a voice chortled to Iris’s left.

She turned in surprise to find who’d be bold enough to do that in a place like this.

She easily found the culprit. A beautiful redhead draining the last of what looked to be her third glass of alcohol.

Rebecca Cooper.

The administrative assistant at RF headquarters.

“Rebecca?” Iris called.

Rebecca looked at her and her unfocused eyes lit up. “Iris, hey,” she said a little too loudly.

Growing up next door to Rebecca and then interacting with her at events like this in adulthood, Iris knew very well that Rebecca Cooper and alcohol were a dangerous risk.

One Rebecca couldn’t afford to take in a room full of listening ears and brute military force. And it didn’t look like Rebecca was here with someone who’d help her before she did something she shouldn’t.

Iris sighed internally and looked over her shoulder to find her husband.

Barry appeared to be in a neutral enough position, sitting next to an empty chair undoubtedly for her, listening to the speech intently.

So, Iris slid over and sat down beside Rebecca hesitantly.

“Maybe we should close the tab, yeah?” she asked Rebecca, who waved her off.

“I’m totally fine,” she said with an undertone of sarcasm.

“I’m sure you are, but just in case maybe could switch to caffeine tablets?” Iris reached into her own bag. She knew she had some from her overnight shift yesterday.

“You always look out for me, Iris," Rebecca said glumly.

"Just want to make sure you're alright," Iris said, handing her one.

After a little struggle, Rebecca downed the pill and huffed.

She tilted her head back and listened to Director Mills proudly list off the names of the officers who helped take down the three metahuman intruders.

"You know, he's so full of shit," Rebecca proclaimed during another round of applause, pointing in the direction of the stage.

Iris gasped and looked around to make sure no one heard what she said. “What are you doing?” Iris hissed angrily.

"Iss true," Rebecca slurred. "That 'security breach' he mentioned was actually a prison-wide riot. Five military guards were killed."

“What?" Iris asked, shock easily replacing frustration. “Are you sure?”

Rebecca nodded. “Of course. Handled the backup deployment myself. The Director's covering it up cause, you know, bad for business,” she said with smug sarcasm.

Though she only handled daily scheduling and organization for Director Mills’ office and was nowhere near high up in any sort of actual chain of commands, Rebecca did get incredible access to knowledge about the inner workings of the RF headquarters.

Iris tried to keep her expression neutral. Of course she was interested in what she just heard, anyone would be with the news, but she didn’t want to seem _too_ invested just in case Rebecca sobered up long enough to realize what she was letting slip.

"Bad for business," Rebecca hiccupped. “Ever'thins always 'bad for business.'”

She was staring hard at something and Iris followed her gaze to the front of the hall where the director's wife and two sons were sitting.

“The RF is always such a finely-tuned machine," she muttered bitterly. “No spots or specks or blemishes there.”

"Chin up, babe,” Rebecca grinned when she caught Iris's jaw still a little open. “You'll let in the flies."

"Sorry. I'm just... surprised, I guess," Iris told her.

"Don't be. That was the third one in five months," Rebecca told her plainly, not caring who heard her.

Luckily enough for the both of them, they were at the very back of the hall with no one around.

"It's not just at the prison either,” Rebecca revealed. “I typed up at least a dozen reports in the last week alone of violence against our military in the Iron Heights district."

"How come no one else heard of any of this?" Iris asked. "I work right up in The Archives. It's literally our exact job to record things like this."

“Director Mills had me send exactly one compilation of the incidents to General Thawne and no one else. Then he had me destroy the books," Rebecca shrugged.

Iris looked around again to make sure no one was listening in on them.

She knew they couldn't keep this conversation going.

It was just too dangerous.

“That’s a lot to wonder about,” Iris said simply, hoping Rebecca would take that hint. “I just hope our military succeeds in putting a stop to the violence.

Rebecca grinned and patted Iris's arm.

“I like you, Iris Allen. Always have. Oop, I guess it’s Iris _West_ -Allen isn’t it? You kept your last name because you never let anyone tell you how to run your shit."

Iris sighed and used her communicuff to request a private transport for Rebecca.

"Your ride will be here in five minutes," she said, straightening up Rebecca's clothes.

"You'd never let anyone use you," Rebecca moaned pitifully, letting Iris lead her outside to a pick-up station. "Married a perfect boy scout with pretty eyes and had perfect, pretty children."

Iris tried not to scoff at Rebecca's shallow view of what her life was actually like.

She just didn't have time for a grown woman feeling sorry for herself.

Especially not with Barry all alone in the Great Hall right now.

"Never takes shit from anyone," Rebecca repeated. Her voice was starting to drag, like she was getting sleepy.

Thankfully, her transport pulled up just then and Iris helped her get in.

"Good night, Rebecca," Iris said.

Rebecca waved. "I'm gonna be like you when I grow up, Iris Allen."

She patted Iris's hand before leaning back into the ride. "G'nigh."

Iris waited till the transport had sped away before exhaling heavily and walking back into the building.

 

Barry could feel his mask slipping.

With every word the director spoke, every graphic and chart he pulled up, Barry felt himself growing more and more restless.

More and more helpless.

"The Ground Zero Initiative is the next step in ensuring the safety and sovereignty for future generations. Three independent studies conducted by our research labs and psychoanalytic department have confirmed this," Director Mills said.

"Though metahumans are prone to savagery and destruction by nature, an important aspect of the darkness that they embrace by adulthood is that if their environment. The 'nurture' in the Nature vs. Nurture debate of old. Metahumans are influenced by their peers. By their surroundings."

Director Mills pulled up a study by a scientist Barry knew of entitled Metahumans: The Long-Practiced Art of Rites of Passage through Human Sacrifice.

Barry muscles felt somewhat stiff under his coat. He wondered if they'd purposely raised the heat in the room. 

_Where was Iris?_

Barry had to strain himself to keep from shaking his leg in anxiousness.

"By acquiring metahumans directly after birth and placing in them correctional facilities separate from the metahuman factions and crime they would otherwise dwell in, the chance to correct as many biological impulses as we can before pubescence increases exponentially."

_How long was Iris going to be talking to Becky Cooper?_

"Naturally, the facilities will be run entirely by normal citizens. We would be in charge of what these metahuman children read, what they see, who they socialize with and are influenced by every second of the day. We would be able to mold this first class of children how we see fit. If all goes to plan our lessons of compassion, resilience, and model behavior will counteract their innate bloodlust and rage and turn them into tools to further our fight in curbing metahuman carnage once and for all," Director Mills proclaimed.

All at once, Barry felt the sensation of needles prickling his skin and felt like he was hearing the sound of Director Mills' voice through cotton.

Everything was muffled and not too sharp, even though he could still make out most words.

"... would be to acquire, amend, and if need be, attack," Director Mills finished proudly.

The room burst into a final round of thunderous applause and Barry waited until the director opened the floor for questions to leave the room as conspicuously as possible.

Unfortunately he couldn't find a bathroom or a back room in time before the sobs ripped through his throat.

_Where was Iris? Why hadn't she come back? Where had she even gone in the first place?_

He couldn't remember.

He couldn't breathe.

He tried to breathe.

The sounds of heaving echoed off of the walls of the emptied hallway and Barry bent over, trying in vain to get a hold of himself.

He knew that if someone were to walk out and see him like this it would be very _very_ bad for himself and his family, but his body wouldn't cooperate.

A few minutes had gone by with no progress when Barry faintly heard a heavy door open and footsteps come down the hall.

But, he couldn't move for his shaking hands and heaving chest.

The footsteps grew closer and closer until all Barry could do was shut his eyes and clamp a quivering hand over his mouth in vain.

It was a soft pair of hands that landed on his arms.

"Barry? Honey, it's Iris. Hey."

Iris.

Barry opened his eyes and saw his wife peering up at him with a worried look.

"I can't - I can't-" Barry tried to explain, but his throat felt coated in sand and his hands started to shake so much, his fingers blurred together.

Iris pulled him close and quickly clamped his hands in her own, pressing them between her chest and his. "Barry, look at me."

"Th-they're just...children, Iris," Barry whispered in harsh disbelief, shaking his head. "No one asked for this."

Tears sprang in Iris's eyes.

Barry knew she'd heard the speech too.

"Just look right at me, Barry," Iris said again. She blinked the sadness from her eyes and pulled one hand back, resting it softly on his cheek.

When he met her eyes again, the worry was still there, but a determination was creeping in and settling.

"The dinner will be over soon now. When I left, questions were already wrapped up. People will be pouring out any minute," Iris said.

Barry managed a nod.

As bad as it was, this was nowhere near one of Barry's worse panic attacks.

"It's going to be alright. Once you're up we'll go home and we won't have to come back to this, okay?" Iris promised.

Barry's breathing started to regulate and he nodded again.

Iris gave him another minute to slowly straighten up.

“We have to carry on," Iris said firmly. She let go of his hands. "Do you remember now?"

"Yes," Barry said after a moment. "I remember. I'm sorry, I-"

"Please, don't apologize for this," Iris begged.

She reached up and kissed him, only pulling away when his breathing finally matched hers. 

Iris rested her head against Barry's.

"Are you alright now, love?"

Barry nodded and rubbed Iris's arms. He kissed her nose then her lips.

A deliberate cough behind him brought them out of their moment.

Joe West stood a few feet away, taking in the couple wrapped tightly together.

They stepped apart, but not by much and Joe expected nothing less.

"Dad," Iris said.

Her voice was soft; surprised and guarded.

"Hello, Iris," Joe said cordially. His eyes flitted in Barry's direction for a nanosecond. "Bartholomew."

"Hello, Captain," Barry greeted coolly.

"Interesting banquet," Joe commented. He moved further into the hallway.

His gait was unhurried, authoritative.

Neither of them responded.

Barry hoped his face wasn't too red and his residual, tiny muscle spasms weren't obvious.

But, if Joe noticed anything in disarray about Barry's appearance, he didn't show it.

Only looked them up and down before fixing his left cufflink.

"Director Mills certainly has a vision," Joe said.

"Yes, I'm sure it'll be everything you've dreamed it would be," Iris finally said with subtle venom saturating her words.

Joe remained as stoic as always, but Iris caught the millisecond of _something_ flitting across his eyes.

"Yes...well the Council is confident this new measure will deter any new threats by an almost 92% success rate. Can't cry over those numbers," Joe told her, shrugging.

"Of course. We all know the threats to our safety are caged children who wear the crime of being different like a badge of honor," Iris said swiftly.

"Barry and I are most grateful that you and your big, strong men have dedicated your lives to being our first line of defense against such menacing evil," Iris said with a burning sarcasm in her voice.

Barry slipped his hand into hers and squeezed gently.

Joe scoffed. "That has always been your problem, Iris. Always so reactionary and offended without ever taking time to look at the bigger picture. To remember that you are not the only person on this planet," Joe reprimanded, finally dropping his cool demeanor a little.

Barry strongly suspected that's what he wanted in the first place.

"It's easy to complain and accuse when you're not the one who has to create the policies that keep all of us safe. You always forget you're not the one who has to make the hard choices," Joe bit out.

"If deciding whether or not babies should be stolen and weaponized is a 'hard choice', I'll thank God every day that I'm nothing like you all," Iris spit out.

Joe shook his head, almost sadly. "You remind me more of myself every time I see you, my darling daughter."

"It's getting late," Barry cut in. His throat was raw and sore from earlier and his voice cracked.

Joe quirked an eyebrow and a sardonic smirk formed.

Iris squeezed Barry's hand tightly.

"If there's nothing else, Captain, we should go," Barry said.

Joe gave a terse shake of his head and Barry led Iris towards the exit without another word.

Iris made sure to avoid her father's gaze as they walked by him.

And she told herself it was the creak of the door that sounded so much like a heavy sigh filling the empty hallway and not the man she left behind.

By the time they made it back home, all evidence of Barry's episode was gone.

He was tired, but he felt like himself again when he helped Iris out of her coat and went upstairs to peek in on the children sleeping.

Iris dragged her feet into the living room and greeted a somewhat nervous looking Linda on the couch.

"Hey Linda," Iris said wearily, slipping off her shoes. "Thank you so much for watching them. How were they?"

Linda greeted her enthusiastically. "It was no problem at all. That's just what best friends do," Linda assured.

She hugged Iris tightly and was already moving past her to the front door before Iris could blink.

"Just one totally tiny issue," Linda explained as she put on her sweater. "They got into that cake you had in the fridge, don't ask me how but they did."

Iris groaned. "That was going to be for my boss’s birthday."

Linda shot her a look full remorse and guilt.

"It's okay," Iris assured her. "I guess I can try to salvage what I can.”

"No," Linda said slowly, bracing. "Like they got into all of it. They finished the entire thing.”

There was a sudden burst of giggles upstairs followed by a loud thud and a sharp yell of pain from Barry.

“They wouldn’t fall asleep either. Too hopped up on sugar,” Linda revealed. “I’m really sorry, Iris. Sometimes they’re just too quick for me to wrestle with.”

“Hey, no. It’s okay, Linda," Iris said sincerely. "I know they can be a bit much sometimes, but you always try to help anyway."

Linda started to wave off the unnecessary thanks, but Barry yelling "Stop it right now, Dawn" cut her off. 

"I better go save him," Iris sighed.

 

A half hour and several frustrated yells later, Barry and Iris wearily slipped into bed.

Iris was brief in her goodnights, announcing she was dead tired before facing away from Barry.

It didn't take long for her breathing to even out and a peaceful silence to fall over the house.

But, Barry stayed awake.

His aching bones and tired eyes fought in protest, but he made sure he didn't fall asleep.

He just waited.

He didn't know how much time had passed before he heard the first sniffle.

It sounded muffled, like she was using her pillow to mask the sound, but it was undeniable.

Barry moved closer to Iris.

When the whimpers started coming in quick succession, he gently pulled her to his chest.

She startled at first.

She thought she'd waited long enough for him to fall asleep.

But, Iris didn't fight his arms wrapping around her.

It was his gentle words of comfort that broke the dam Iris was trying to hold in.

Heavy sobs ripped through her chest and she clung to Barry.

"Those babies wouldn't have any kind of chance," she cried. "They're only children, Barry. They're only children. If anyone ever found out about Dawn and DJ they'd do the same thing to them. They'd-"

"Dawn and DJ are safe," Barry soothed, cutting off her dark line of thinking. "They're safe with us. No one is touching them, Iris. Ever."

"They're just kids," Iris said miserably.

She cried and she cried until there were no more tears. Until her body wracked and her throat felt like it was going to collapse on itself.

Barry made her sit up when he legitimately thought she was going to start choking.

Eventually, his gentle caressing lulled her crying to a stop.

"Everything is going to be alright, Iris. I promise.”

And all Iris could do was nod into his chest.

So, Barry held her as tightly as he could until she finally fell asleep.


End file.
